A Commotion on Hyrule Field

Starring Agitha and Sir Connor

On a sunny Din's Day morning, Agitha made her way out of town to her favourite bug finding spot in Southern Hyrule Field. It was ideal weather for catching the rare Stalfos beetle, which somewhat resembled its namesake by dint of a bone colouration, and a ribcage-like thorax. Fortune smiled upon little Agitha that day as she found not one, but three of the elusive bugs!"Oh! Mr Stalfos, Mr Stalfos, would you like to be part of the Royal Guard at Agitha's Castle?" sang Agitha as she collected them in little glass bottles, glittering green in the bright sunlight.

"Well well well! What do we have here, lads?" croaked someone from behind the small girl. "Looks like we found our rich little 'princess' all alone... We hear you, ahaha, have some money to spare, yeah?" guffawed an unkempt and foul-smelling man. Agitha quietly sealed her last Stalfos beetle away, and stepped a little further from the group of bandits, before raising her frilled umbrella in a defensive posture. The posse of thieves chuckled amongst themselves, and casually hefted their weapons. Full of confidence, one grinned and stumped forwards...

Without warning, Agitha darted forwards and struck the man twice with surgical precision. "Aaargh!" screamed the unfortunate man, clutching his face. "Ah haaaagh ha HAAAAAAARGH!!!" he continued. His comrades jeered at him, taunting him for his outcry. Slowly the man turned around, revealing his destroyed nose and the bloody remains of his eyes. "Help!" he sobbed in terror, reaching out desperately. "I-I c-c-can't see!". Angry mutters broke out amongst the group, and they advanced towards Agitha. The girl cocked her head at them and opened her mouth, issuing a horrible, unnatural screech. As the men closed in, discomfited, a strange rustling in the tall grasses and flowers of the field came in reply, slowly increasing in volume. With a shout of triumph, the lead bandit charged Agitha with his battered sword – and was disarmed in a blur of movement, leaving him gawping at the little girl. Agitha held the sword out at arms' reach, wrinkled her nose, and delicately tossed it to the ground. Then, with blinding speed, something flashed forward. An instant later, the ill-fated assailant found Agitha's umbrella buried deeply into his gut and out through the other side, gasping and panting as the pain sought to overwhelm him. He tried in vain to move, but all control of his body had deserted him, as if a deadly poison or some maleficent influence had taken hold. "Oh, but it gets worse than this, doesn't it, Sir Connor?" twittered the girl to no one in particular, smiling vaguely. The other thieves came to a halt and looked around in fear as the ground shuddered, seemingly in reply.

Suddenly, a huge Moldorm erupted from the ground behind the diminutive girl, its armoured serpentine body undulating towards the remaining men with its toothy maw stretching out. Agitha met her victim's rolling eyes, transfixing them so that he could see the mirth in her own as she cradled his chin in her hand. Her smile widened as a wave of insects poured from the inside of her umbrella and began to eat him from the inside out. Just as he was to expire, Agitha forcibly opened her umbrella, shredding what little of his internal organs that were left. The man stopped breathing, and fell backwards in a mess of his own blood and gore, insects scrambling over his remains in their rush to devour him. The handful of would-be attackers screamed in primal fear, and jolted into action, they abandoned their weapons and fled towards Hyrule Castle Town.

Rounding a small copse of trees, they chanced upon their blinded comrade, who was on his hands and knees and crying for help as he bled. To their horror, out of the grasses came a wave of black, like the shadow of a malign cloud moving across the land. From all sides it poured, growing in mass and height as the tiny creatures climbed onto and over each other in a maddened frenzy of bloodlust. Once again the men froze as their blinded friend was overrun and dragged down by the seething mass, screaming and flailing in vain. Now surrounded and bereft of all hope, the bandits pressed together and awaited their doom with clenched teeth and closed eyes. Suddenly, there was silence – the constant skittering of the deadly wave ceased. Hardly daring to believe their luck, the human wrecks slowly opened their eyes, to see that the hordes had stopped just metres from them. A curious sliding and scraping sound soon replaced the silence as Agitha approached serenely, riding her pet abomination, creating a wake in the sea of insects. The wretched thieves threw themselves onto the ground in supplication and begged for their lives almost incomprehensibly. Agitha glanced at the individuals grovelling in the dirt, before addressing the insects. "They really have been very naughty you know... and naughty people have to be punished, don't they?".

Sir Connor swooped down and devoured one man whole, whose screams were muffled and then cut off as a series of awful crunches split the air. "That's enough, Sir Connor! You've got to watch your weight!" chided Agitha, as the living carpet of bugs closed in. One man fumbled with his knife, making a ragged slash across his own throat in a desperate attempt to speed his demise – but one made in vain, as the torrents of voracious bugs began to pour down his new orifice. Unable to scream, he gurgled and convulsed horribly as he was eaten from the inside out. The other remaining man could manage no reaction, overcome by the ordeal and left catatonic. He lay there, stunned, until he joined his comrade in a cacophony of pain and suffering. For a while, all manner of insects flew through the air, propelled by the agony of the doomed, flailing in their death throes until finally, they were still. Agitha daintily dismounted from Sir Connor, bade farewell to her little friends, and sighed in satisfaction. As the bugs receded, she tiptoed over to the bloodied skeletons and plucked a beetle from one of their eye sockets, placing it in her umbrella. "Oh, Mr Beetle, it's nearly tea time! There's scones, you know!" she announced sweetly. And with that she skipped away, merry as could be, leaving naught but bones to show for the bloody carnage of the day.